I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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