their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
that is very illegal...i love you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
