mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
