I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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