i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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