everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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