I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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