1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
