First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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