Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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