don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
