yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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