batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
