if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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