How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
