Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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