I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
