We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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