I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
