why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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