Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
