I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Someone signed my nipple.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
