I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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