So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
