my mouth tastes like poor choices
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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