so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize