I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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