Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Please, let me fuck your mom
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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