I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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