How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
