Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
