hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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