Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?

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  (360): is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect? (503): Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam? http://tfl.nu/p9dl
  Replies (71) Good night (6412) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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  (443): i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/j4pq
  Replies (10) Good night (1205) Bad night (4605)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.

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  (404): I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home. http://tfl.nu/u6hf
  Replies (16) Good night (650) Bad night (3400)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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  (318): That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior. http://tfl.nu/48ho
  Replies (17) Good night (5064) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (2172)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

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  (716): He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex http://tfl.nu/jqzk
  Replies (5) Good night (2825) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  (208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif
  Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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  (+61): i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history.. http://tfl.nu/iskw
  Replies (9) Good night (2095) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm

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  (845): also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm http://tfl.nu/66ib
  Replies (6) Good night (654) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes

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  (415): I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes http://tfl.nu/o499
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?

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  (910): He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/tksy
  Replies (12) Good night (503) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference

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  (612): I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference http://tfl.nu/y7l1
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (166)

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