This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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