I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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