I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????