Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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