moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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