Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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