You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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