Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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