Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
