i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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