do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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