he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
