those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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