what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
