Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can I color on your dick again?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
