worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
