I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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