No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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