yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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