i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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