Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
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Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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