would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
