ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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