The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
