I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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